I entered this world
Into the arms of a
Woman
To whom
I was equal parts
blessing
And
curse.
Addicted and ill,
The thrill of a child’s love
Could only break the wall
At the right time.
I, too little
To care for myself,
Was another let down in her
World of resentment-filled-giving.
Through her reactions,
I learned that love was
Only earned
Through tears spilled
Voice strained
into silence
from crying
Mom
mom
mom
While she muttered
Through drunken breath
About how she hated
Her existence;
Alternatively I learned
through the effort
Of lightening this burden,
Her burden of being
Little hands attempting
To wipe windows
Without streaks,
To keep being the best of 3,
Living her dreams,
To make her laugh endlessly.
It didn’t matter though,
Because she still left,
Despite my best efforts.
11 years old
And she never came home.
And when I reunited with her,
She was still gone.