There is a different pain

in understanding

than there is

in blind anger.

Revenge and hatred

rob you of opportunities.

The keep you in limbo, smoldering..

But they also take the edge off

through distraction and action.

Understanding means

you must accept

double the pain.

You must drop to your knees,

you must offer your heart,

Be vulnerable to start

over

again.

There is no immediate-

no direct effect- of understanding

but perhaps humility.

It keeps you not in fire, but in grief.

Both can exist in the same body,

but often

this burns bridges before you can cross them,

Floats signals of smoke before you speak.

We are often trapped then,

to condemn ourselves,

to one or the other:

As the women who react,

or the woman

you can walk over

and away from.

 

Written from the point of view of a woman living in a world where our emotions are often trivialized, and our experiences minimized.