Putting a bunch of shorter Poems from various days into this post. A lot deal with anxiety.
2-26-18
Brushing my teeth
won’t remove the green
stains of jealousy
rotting my ability to
communicate. No, the
harshness of fear translates
ugly on the surface,
leaves others
with a prickly sensation.
Poor mental hygiene
is to blame.
12-23-17
Filtering thoughts
Overflow from work
Thrown headfirst
into a burst
of negativity
from all sides
no compromise
Christmas Time
and fielding lies
Finding truth
in only that
which matters to me.
Love divine
Irrational Signs
of cosmic symmetry
12-9-17
The barricades are rolling
up
over my toes and
up
around my ankles-
The prick of the wire
barbed and foreboding
makes me feel stuck
and I can’t
will myself to move
from this place
of fear.
1-?-18
Like the fox,
I won’t let you hurt me,
Not with your presence,
nor with your threats.
Instead I will watch
patiently, until you retreat.
Then I will tremble onward,
alone.
2-23-18
You.
An overdone sequence
of beginnings.
Declarations of intent
with no strength
to follow through.
Chewing on pens.
Later, later, later.
Why bother?
Reminders tacked to nuerons
firing yourself for trying.
Over before you started.
Begin again,
a bigger process
of learning to overcome
Nature
Nurture
(or lack thereof)
Summer-2017
I am the constant
swing of light
from day to night
I am the echoing
reverence of a silent church
My palms are flattened
from the support they offer.
I am enough to make
you wonder about.
Death becomes me
but I will not become death.
A removal of soul
beyond this physical realm.
My shoulders can dip
and shimmy into
outspread arms,
through valleys of truth,
the kind you spit out,
but doesn’t accept returns.
?-Summer-2017
I can walk you through battlefields from the confines of my memories,
A palm on your back to gently lead you around the landmines.
It is only later I will venture back alone
to talk to the ghosts there,
the figments of trust, love, nurturing, and safety,
and I will stroke their shimmering corporeal beings
in greeting.
We know one another too well,
and yet they still wonder why I continue to haunt the physical realm.
I remind them that they would not be visited if I ceased to lead
these new souls through their graveyards,
if I didn’t create plaques of poetry inspired by them.
They laugh,
because I don’t even believe me.
8-12-17
Living in a world of constant stimulation,
validation plugged into our fingers:
Tap, swipe, like, repeat:
We don’t make room for sunshine
and other necessary things.
The only way to conquer this constant pull is to
live with deprivation sometimes.
No outside inhalations.
Only those within.
Taking the time to sleep, organize, rifle through thoughts that have gathered.
If I let them all collect dust, the bunnies will outnumber my sanity.
?-?-2017
Anxiety is swirling around
the back of my throat
like a Bubble
Drowning
Cutthroat
the lining of my
vocal chambers
burn hollow
from the water in my lungs
Tongues
which have forced their
way into my
energy channels
Swimming upstream
Nightmare dreams
The desire to expel
but the lack of ability to tell
myself
how to accomplish this.
